Cromwell Road bus station in Kingston has reopened.
There are eight versions of today's post, according to your level of interest.
(click to jump to the right one)
1) I just need the basics 2) I never intend to visit but tell me more 3) I sometimes use this bus station 4) I need accessible options 5) I am very very interested in buses 6) I only want to know what's wrong with it 7) I like laughing at press releases 8) I hate buses, please stop writing about them
1) New bus station reopens
Cromwell Road bus station is the larger of Kingston's two bus interchanges. It closed in August 2023 for a complete rebuild including new facilities and a brand new canopy. Yesterday it finally reopened (later than hoped after a few months of snagging). It looks a lot nicer than before and should be better at warding off the elements. TfL are very proud of how much more sustainable and energy efficient it is.
2) Bus station refurbishment complete
The previous bus station opened in 1995 on the site of a former coal yard. It was 12 bays long with four additional bus stops alongside the ring road. TfL first proposed major modernisation in 2013, submitted plans in 2015 and had them approved in 2016, because that's how long it takes to fund a project and bring it to completion. The redevelopment is bookended by two new pavilions which include waiting rooms, an information counter and facilities for staff. Inbetween is a longcanopy formed from diamond-shaped openings through weathered steel plates supported by curved cruciform columns. The new seating is chunky wooden benches rather than less-comfy green-painted metal. It all looks great.
3) Praise be, the bus station is finally open again
It's been a very long fifteen months hasn't it? Not having a bus station has been a right faff with services despatched from temporary stops on the ring road or much further afield, but now thank god they're all back in one place again. The important thing is that all the buses are leaving from exactly the same stop as before, nobody's reshuffled them like they normally do. Here's what departs from where.
βΏ A4
285 A5/A6
111 A7/A8
216 A9
411 A10
461 A11
481 458 A12
K1 A13
71 A14/15
465 A16
central walkway
A1 213 371 SL7 K2 K3 K4 K5
Z1 alight only
A2 57 85 131 K5
A3 65 281 406 418 513 514 515 715
Posters showing which bus leaves from which bay have been posted all over the place. Be aware that the northbound 65 and westbound SL7 depart from a nearby street - a special arrow on signage points the way. If you need more help there's an Information and Assistance window, although it may not always be occupied. The waiting room isn't ready yet. A heck of a lot of security cameras are watching every move you make. The new canopy looks well smart, like the cloisters in an Escher cathedral or a huge block of melting chocolate. It's not rusty, it just looks like that.
4) Accessible options at the forefront
The unique thing about Cromwell Road bus station is that none of the twelve bays are suitable for accessible boarding. This is not a thoughtless omission, this is deliberate. Instead all those with wheelchairs, pushchairs and mobility needs are directed to bus stop A4. This is located beside the exit from the bus station so every vehicle has to pass it on the way out. It has a drop kerb and also a bench you can wait on until the bus you want arrives. What it doesn't have is a poster explaining where all the buses go, you're expected to know that. Conveniently the accessible stop is located beside the accessible toilet, because hurrah there's now one of those too.
5) Revamped bus station is bustastic
Sixteen bus stops makes this the largest of all TfL's bus stations. Vehicles you can spot include Streetdeck Electroliners, Enviro200 MMCs and Superloop-branded 10.4m Geminis. All yourfavouriteteenagecreators were down here on the first morning filming videos to save you the bother of turning up. Respect for the uploaders. Sadly the small unit that's potentially a coffee shop is utterly empty so you'll need to bring your own thermos.
6) Yes there are mistakes and omissions
A clock would be nice. There isn't a clock. Yes there are two electronic departure boards, one at either end, but you can't see either of them if you're waiting at a bus stop. The other thing there isn't is a map. A spider map would be really useful, particularly given this is an interchange with a huge number of departure options, but these days nobody can be bothered to produce any up-to-date spider maps for the two Kingston bus stations or the town centre. It's all very well having a simple list of destinations if where you want to go is a terminus like Putney or Epsom, but for intermediate places like Surbiton or Cheam your only option is walking up and down and scouring all the timetables. Also at bus stop A12 they got the name of the operator and the days of operation wrong so those parts of the sign have had to be covered over with white tape.
7) The PR desk has been working overtime
» "This brand-new bus station will make bus journeys in Kingston much more convenient, safe and attractive." (Attractive yes, safe perhaps, but it's the same stops in the same place which I don't think is "much more convenient") » "...with a new canopy in the waiting area to keep passengers warm and dry throughout the seasons" (I can assure you the canopy does nothing whatsoever to keep people warm, and won't keep you dry either if the wind direction is wrong) » Lorna Murphy, TfL's Director of Buses, said: "The new bus station has been designed with customers in mind" (I'd hope so because the alternative would be ridiculous) » "The 1,600 square meters of Sustainable Drainage System (SuDS) at Cromwell Road bus station adds to TfL's annual target of 5,000 square meters of SuDS catchment" (if a single bus station can contribute a third of your annual quota then your SuDS target is miserably unaspirational)
8) I was in Bushy Park and this young stag just trotted past
The Kingston area's not all about buses, it's also about close encounters of the antlered kind. But you could get here by catching a 111 from bus stop A7 and alighting at Hampton Grove, if only you did buses.
Sometimes you just want to go for a nice walk, nothing too taxing, a bit of a stroll, wildlife guaranteed, railway-adjacent, mostly dry underfoot, broad pylon vistas, binocular opportunities, possibility of lapwings, won't take long. So here's a brief birdwatching treat near some gravel pits in Sutton, nowhere near enough to make a day of it but a nice walk all the same.
It's called Beddington Farmlands not because that's what it is but because that's what it was, a huge wedge of marshy fields to the south of Mitcham Common. Sewage from the town of Croydon was first used to fertilise the crops in Victorian times, then sludge beds appeared and in 1969 a full-on sewage works was built. Ornithologists learned to appreciate the wide range of birdlife that flew in to enjoy the sprawling wetland habitat. But in 1993 Thames Water sealed off the site for gravel extraction and landfill operations, covering most of the former sludge beds and severing the one remaining right of way that linked the Hackbridge and Beddington flanks. Thankfully there is still a permissive path along the western edge, a full mile long, from which a reborn Beddington Farmlands can be intermittently seen. And that's the nice walk.
The easiest place to slip into Beddington Farmlands is the northwest corner of Beddington Park, just down the road from Hackbridge station. Most people ignore the entrance, the park being a much easier place to roam and let their dogs run amok, plus once you're through the gate there are very few alternative exits so it might feel a tad oppressive. But give it a go and you enter a stripe of woodland alongside a long secure fence with a few surprises ahead, the first of which is a box of squirrels. To be fair it's more a large cage supported on a post, with a single wildlife access point via a long perspex pipe and a seed-filled bird feeder hanging free inside. I was torn as to whether the target diners were squirrels or birds, but because it's all behind a locked gate I couldn't get close enough to check.
Where things get good, and a tad unexpected, is when a short path opens up on the right-hand side with a bird hide at the end. It's a low cost bird hide, essentially a screen of corrugated metal with a few horizontal slots and absolutely nowhere to sit should you fancy resting here a while. I know some people do linger because the three binbags hanging alongside are bulging with takeaway wrappers, empty cans and bottles of vodka. But it does its job, shielding occasional humans from the waterfowl on the southern lake and the southern reedbed so they can flap around in oblivious privacy. What I will say is that this is not the best of the bird hides due to an excess of intermediate foliage so best move on.
We're currently round the back of Hackbridge station, not that you'd know other than the occasional sound of a braking train. The path has opened out a little to reveal what looks like a power station in the distance and is in fact the Beddington Energy Recovery Facility, burner of the refuse from four boroughs and the reason why this 400 acre site is no longer used for landfill. There'll be a much better view later. But you do now get a first sense of how vast and undulating the reclaimed brownfield is, and also how verdant because they've been transforming it into something much nicer over the last couple of years - the Beddington Farmlands Nature Reserve.
The plan is twofold, to make the site much more attractive to wildlife and also to permit public access for the first time in 30 years. It looks wonderful in the most recent consultation, an undulating landscape of open meadow pocked with lakes and drainage ponds threaded through with paths linking to at least four new entrances. But site owners Valencia Waste Management have been progressing their plans at a glacial pace causing local residents to wonder if it'll ever open, and they're also highlyunimpressed by recent downgrades to the number of accessible paths and the diversity of grassland habitats. Big business alas doesn't always deliver on its green promises. In the meantime only keyholding members of the Beddington Farm Bird Group are permitted inside, one of whom I spotted yomping up a dirt track past an inquisitive fox towards a lakeside hide, and I could only look on wistfully.
The only intermediate access point along the permissive path is along what's left of Mile Road, a direct link across the railway to the heart of Hackbridge. Most joggers and dogwalkers bear off here, alongside what should one day be the main western entrance to the reserve. But hardier souls continue north along the peripheral woody strip with no hope of egress for the next fifteen minutes. The path initially splits in two, one concreted, the other immediately alongside but a tad lower and potentially muddier. And eventually another bird hide is revealed, this time with a far less obstructed view across the northern lake, distant meadowed slopes and potentially a few large grazing animals. The tops of Croydon IKEA's chimneys poke marginally above the horizon.
Just round the next bend, where the Irrigation Bridge used to land, the adjacent landscape switches to (very) wet grassland. A third and final hide provides the finest view of all, the one where I spent most time, above a marshy scrape that birds just love. I smiled when I thought I'd spotted three motionless herons but one proved to be just a reflection in the water. Above all this is strung a chain of pylons and over to the right the full-on vision of the Beddington ERF busy consuming Sutton's cardboard and Kingston's peelings. Keep panning and the towers in Croydon town centre stand proud, intermingled with loads more pylons, those IKEA chimneys and a foreground of teasel-edged lakeside. Yes I did bring my binoculars and yes they did get good use, both for bountiful birdlife and for infrastructure.
The path continues along its narrow woody corridor, currently finely bedecked in autumnal shades, with the railway shielded somewhere behind the trees. I passed beneath lofty transmission cables and dodged past two cyclists making the most of an imaginative shortcut, while high in a tree a raucous rookery launched en masse from their roost and swirled above my head. Further locked gates suggested additional landfill access might be possible if only people pulled their fingers out and furthered their plans. As the final gate approached, with its entirely illegible spraypainted sign, I kept wondering how I'd never realised all this was here.
This mile-long nice walk ends in the middle of nowhere beside an old freestanding railway bridge. Cross that and you land in a wooded corner of Mitcham Common, near Carla's shrine, with maybe a five minute walk to the main road. Straight ahead is the 7th tee of Mitcham Golf Club where an unsigned stile crosses the fence, but I didn't fancy running the gauntlet of a party of retirees so chose not to risk that. Instead I turned right and followed another long stripe of woodland which eventually emerged at the end of Beddington Lane tramstop. I'd always wondered where that exit went and now I know it leads somewhere ultimately unique. Just hurry up and open it up properly.
The plan, starting next month, is to open the cablecar later than now.
On weekdays that means an 8am start rather than 7am.
On Fridays that means a 9am start rather than 7am.
On Saturdays that means a 9am start rather than 8am.
On Sundays nothing's changing - still a 9am start.
π‘ π‘ π‘
Now
From December
cut
Mon-Thu
07:00 to 22:00
08:00 to 22:00
1 hour
Friday
07:00 to 22:00
09:00 to 22:00
2 hours
Saturday
08:00 to 22:00
09:00 to 22:00
1 hour
Sunday
09:00 to 22:00
09:00 to 22:00
-
You might be surprised to discover that the Dangleway opens that early but it always has. This was because it was sold to Londoners as a public transport option tourists would also enjoy, hence an expectation it'd be used for the morning commute. This was patently ridiculous, but the gondolas have rolled out every weekday at 7am just in case. Now, finally, TfL have quantified quite what a waste of resources that's been.
They've done this in a consultation, because apparently it requires a consultation to change the cablecar's opening hours. This was launched on Friday, then almost immediately taken down for some reason, then republished earlier this week. It doesn't say much but it does say they intend to make the change on 1st December so it's pretty much a done deal.
That's not just tumbleweed, that's the very definition of transporting air across the Thames. That's 100 cabins crossing the river of which 96 are empty. That's a 15 minute gap between anybody turning up. That's more staff on duty than passengers. And this is happening every weekday before 8am, wasting public money on a service barely anyone's using and nobody actually needs. The real question isn't "Should we start later?", the real question is "Why on earth have we been starting so early?"
And this is not new!π‘
We have data to show that Dangleway usage has been minimal first thing in the morning for years. Darryl Chamberlain (of the Greenwich Wire) used to submit an FoI request every year asking for hourly passenger numbers in the second week of October. Afternoon and weekend figures were always fairly healthy. But between 7am and 8am they've always been anything but.
Passenger numbers between 7am and 8am (second week of October)
Before 8am the cablecar only twice exceeded 30 passengers an hour, that's one passenger every two minutes. The average was 20 passengers an hour, i.e. one every three minutes. For comparison the 2023 figure from the latest consultation would have been 8 passengers an hour - four one way and four the other. That's lower than all the 2010s data, suggesting early morning numbers are even worse now than they used to be, but they've always been negligible.
Cyclists are getting a 40% cut to their free timeπ‘
One of the best unsung Dangleway bargains is this.
At present this means you can turn up with a bike at any time from 07:00 to 09:30 and you'll be waved aboard for nothing. Bargain! But from December this perk will only work between 08:00 and 09:30 which is an entire hour less, or in percentage terms a 40% decrease. To be fair if only four people are turning up before 8am then barely any cyclists are going to be inconvenienced, but the impact may be more serious on Fridays when the free period will shrink to 09:00-09:30, a mere half hour!
Also, as the consultation's FAQ remind us, there will soon be a special bus for cyclists operating through the Silvertown Tunnel.
This'll mean no cyclist arriving before 8am need miss out, they'll be able to board a bus nearby and get across the river anyway, initially for free. But the lack of customers on the Dangleway does suggest the early start on the shuttle bus could be a complete white elephant too. Why start the bus at 6.30am when all the evidence suggests cross-river cyclists are barely present before 8am?
But is an 8am start still too early?π‘
Changing the cablecar's start time to 8am makes sense if barely anyone's travelling before that. But is anyone travelling during the next hour, i.e. 8am to 9am, or is running the cablecar then a waste of money too? Sadly the consultation doesn't include data for any other hourly time period and it would take too long to put in an FoI request to find out. So I did the next best thing and stood beside the Dangleway one morning this week and counted the passengers.
The great thing about doing a Dangleway passenger survey is that you can do it all from one side of the river because everyone either comes in or goes out. Also the cabins have glass windows so if anyone's doing a round trip for sightseeing reasons you can count them too. So I arrived on the north bank at 8am and started counting, and continued counting until 9.10am to make sure I'd included everyone who boarded on the south side before nine. It proved an exercise in tumbleweed.
In the first ten minutes there were only two passengers, both heading south, and the rest of the time the cabins churned round carrying nobody. Things perked up a bit around quarter past eight, if you call eight passengers perking up, then dropped back over the next half hour. All the early danglers appeared to be off to work, some in offices and some on building sites, including a tiny handful aiming for City Hall. Just seven of the passengers had bikes. No tourists were apparent before 8.45am. Travelling south towards Greenwich was more popular than heading north, that is until just before nine o'clock when the tide turned.
Dangleway passengers between 8am and 9am
π‘ Total heading north: 15
π‘ Total heading south: 24
π‘ Total passengers in one hour: 39
These figures are much better than the four passengers an hour TfL claim are travelling before 8am, but they're still paltry. The 15 passengers heading north are essentially one minibus-ful, and the 24 heading south the equivalent of a single single decker. By my calculations every cabin crossed the Thames six times during the hour I was there, just short of 200 crossings altogether, but only 27 of those had anybody inside. Having stood and watched the minutes tick by I can only imagine how bored the staff must be.
Just start the day at 9am and be done with itπ‘
You can tell 9am is when the cablecar really kicks into action because it's when they turn the music on and target tourists. As Hey Jude reverberated around the Royal Docks the first family group turned up with the intent of crossing and finally gave the ticket office staff something to do. A third of the passengers I surveyed turned up in the last ten minutes and could easily have waited until 9am to start their trip. TfL must know what a waste opening early is.
It's great that a few people have managed to incorporate the Dangleway into their morning commute, but it really is a few people and it wouldn't hurt if the big beast wasn't switched on until 9am. Despite all pretences it is essentially a Β£6-a-time tourist attraction and should be treated as such, rather than keeping it running this early to save face.
As I said nine years ago, "TfL could easily close the cablecar before nine in the morning and inconvenience almost nobody, but they never will because to do so would be to admit that the cablecar is not a useful commuting option, which was the main reason given for building it in the first place." We're halfway there.
Once again TfL have silently published their annual spreadsheet listing the number of passengers using every London bus route and how many kilometres those buses travelled. Data is for April 2023 - March 2024. Comparisons are with the previous year.
n.b. Because of leap years this year's data is for 53 weeks rather than the usual 52 (but I've tried to balance this out when making comparisons).
London's ten busiest bus routes (2023/24) 1) -- 18 Euston - Sudbury (13.0m) 2) -- 149 London Bridge - Edmonton Green (12.3m) 3) -- 29 Trafalgar Square - Wood Green (11.5m) 4) ↑6 207 White City - Southall (10.9m) 5) -- 86 Stratford - Romford (10.7m) 6) ↓2 25 Holborn Circus - Ilford (10.5m) 7) ↓1 5 Canning Town - Romford (10.2m) 8) -- 279 Manor House - Waltham Cross (10.1m) 9) ↓2 36 Queens Park - New Cross Gate (10.0m) 10) ↑1 35 Shoreditch - Clapham Junction (9.9m)
The next ten: 109, 53, 243, 141, 43, 38, 55, 185, 21, 183
For the fifth year running London's busiest bus is the 18, long-term plier of the Harrow Road. The runners up remain two northern workhorses, the 149 and 29. The 207's leap is because it's the sole non-express route between Southall and Acton now the 427's been cut back. The 25 tumbled from the top spot in 2019 after being cut back from Oxford Circus, but along with the 86 is proving that east Londoners are still happy to use the bus rather than ride Crossrail. The 36 is the busiest route with a significant presence south of the Thames. To give you some idea of how passenger numbers have yo-yo-ed, five years ago route 18 recorded 17 million passengers, mid-pandemic just 6 million and since then it's rebounded to 13 million.
The next ten: U10, 375, 146, 209, 497, 464, 467, 359, R2, 404
These are all the usual suspects, topped off by a pair of brief turns in Barnet connecting daytime residents to the shops. The only change in the top 10 is that the R5 and R10 have swapped places (they operate the same route in rural Bromley but in opposite directions). However the 549 was withdrawn a couple of months so won't be appearing in the list again and the 347 is also getting the chop on a date yet to be advised. Technically the new 439 should be third in the list but I've ignored it because the passenger data only covers four weeks. Route 18 is busier than the fifty least used buses put together.
London's ten most travelled bus routes (2023/24) 1) -- 18 Euston - Sudbury (2,000,000 km) 2) ↑7 111 Kingston - Heathrow (1,890,000 km) 3) -- 5 Canning Town - Romford (1,870,000 km) 4) ↑1 86 Stratford - Romford (1,840,000 km) 5) ↑5 182 Brent Cross - Harrow Weald (1,810,000 km) 6) ↑2 174 Harold Hill - Dagenham (1,800,000 km) 7) ** SL7 Croydon - Heathrow (1,784,000 km) 8) ↓2 102 Brent Cross - Edmonton (1,781,000 km) 9) ↓2 96 Woolwich - Bluewater (1,760,000 km) 10) ↓6 53 Lambeth North - Plumstead (1,760,000 km)
The next ten: 207, 38, 466, 183, 34, 113, 55, 229, SL8, 279
This is a chart of the routes whose vehicles travelled the greatest distance in one year. Long distance buses (like the 111) and high frequency buses (like the 18 and 86) tend to travel the furthest. Only three of these serve central London, most are busy zipping across the suburbs. The SL7 has leapt into the top 10 because its frequency doubled when it joined the Superloop (and because the route's ridiculously long). Meanwhile the 183 has tumbled out of the top tier because its frequency was reduced when a new Superloop route paralleled it. The 389 remains London's least travelled bus route, covering just over 8000km per year.
London's ten most crowded bus routes (2023/24) 1) -- W7 Finsbury Park - Muswell Hill (8.3 passengers per km) 2) ↑4 98 Holborn - Willesden (8.25) 3) ↓1 149 London Bridge - Edmonton (8.0) 4) ↓1 238 Stratford - Barking (7.8) 5) -- 29 Trafalgar Square - Wood Green (7.8) 6) ↓2 35 Shoreditch - Clapham Junction (7.7) 7) ↑1 109 Brixton - Croydon (7.2) 8) ↓1 41 Archway - Tottenham Hale (7.1) 9) ↑18 120 Northolt - Hounslow (6.9) 10) -- 69 Canning Town - Walthamstow (6.9)
This Top 10 is determined by dividing the number of passengers by the number of km travelled to get a 'number of passengers per km'. The higher the number, the less likely it is you'll be able to find a seat. By this measure the most crowded bus is the W7 which, along with the 41, delivers residents of Muswell Hill and Crouch End to their nearest tube stations. The 98's big leap is probably from passengers who can no longer ride the 16. The 120's bigger leap is harder to explain. Most London bus routes carry 2-5 passengers per km.
The next ten: 58, 9, 104, 205, 94, 25, 18, 52, 141, 169
The ten routes with the biggest increase in passengers: SL7, 1, 485, 533, H26, 482, 278, U5, 9, E11 The eight routes with the biggest decrease in passengers: 11, 209, 23, R68, 427, 187, 22, 359
The SL7 has the biggest year-on-year increase because its frequency doubled when it stopped being the X26. The 1's also 50% up on last year as a result of absorbing the 168. The other route with a really chunky increase is the 485 which now serves Wandsworth Riverside Quarter and runs on Sundays. The 11 has the biggest decrease because its entire City section got withdrawn. Other big tumblers following a major route tweak include the 23, 427 and (temporarily) the R68. The eight routes listed all lost more than 10% of their passengers last year.
Routes introduced between April 2023 and March 2024: SL1-SL10, 439, S2 Routes withdrawn between April 2023 and March 2024: 168, 332, 455, 497, 507, 521
Thanks to the Superloop London's gained more new routes than it's lost.
London's ten busiest nightbuses: N15, N25, N18, N207, N29, N279, N9, N8, N98, N140 London's ten least busy nightbuses: 486, 158, 213, N33, 365, 85, 474, N72, 321, 119
Passengerwise the N15 is 40% ahead of its nearest competitor, the N25.
London's ten busiest single deckers: 235, C10, 195, W15, 316, 170, 366, 214, 112, 358 London's ten least busy double deckers: 467, SL6, 481, 412, 317, 498, 215, 492, 428, 357
All those single deckers are busier than all those double deckers.
The three signatories were big names in the American company - Robert Rhea, Fred Turner and Ray Kroc - but none of them turned up. Instead the ribbon was cut by the dynamic duo of Ed 'Stewpot' Stewart, Radio 1 DJ, and Len Squirrell, Mayor of Greenwich. Ed and Len stood outside the store in Powis Street, both sporting a jacket and tie, and addressed a decent-sized crowd.
Inside the restaurant on 13th November 1974 some lucky children were offered hats and balloons. Most of the space was laid out with small wooden tables, each with an ashtray. The menu rested on an easel by the tills and was also written in plastic letters on boards behind the counter. Tom and Ed worked in the kitchen flipping and assembling burgers. Soft drinks included lemonade and orange, none of your branded nonsense. Opening hours were 10am to 11pm, so no breakfasts.
The restaurant's first manager was Paul Preston who'd been shipped in from Ohio. In 1991, now the boss of McDonald's UK, he recalled the opening days in an interview in the Evening Standard.
"I remember that no one bought food. One man had a cup of tea six times, and people asked what french fries were. I still remember the cleaners, Mary and Gladys - they couldn't get the tiles to shine properly because of bad grouting. It was a devil. Woolwich is still very dear to me."
"Demographically, the town parallelled the country. We decided that if we could crack Woolwich, we could crack Britain. We thought, if we fight this battle we'll win. And there's no doubt now who won."
In 1974 the United Tastes of America meal consisted of a hamburger, small fries and a shake for 45p. The nearest equivalent today is the Happy Meal for Β£3.59.
As well as being England's first McDonald's it was also the company's 3000th worldwide.
Today there are over 41000 McDonald's globally with 1453 in the UK.
The growth of UK McDonald's 1974:1st: Woolwich 1983:100th: Market Street, Manchester 1986:200th: Ipswich 1988:300th: Dagenham 1991:400th: Belfast 1993:500th: Notting Hill Gate 1995:600th: Woodall motorway service area (M1) 1996:700th: Trocadero, Piccadilly Circus 1997:800th: County Hall, South Bank 2000:1000th: Millennium Dome
And the first UK McDonald's is still there at 56-58 Powis Street.
I dropped by for a throwback experience and attempted to buy a hamburger... with cash.
Gone are the days when customers queued patiently at the counter. They now submit their orders via large touchscreen kiosks, of which Woolwich has 8. A sticker at the top says "contactless payment preferred", indeed there's no slot for coins or notes. But I'd done my homework online before I arrived and knew the trick which is to cancel your transaction just before the end. This brings up a 'Card transaction has failed' screen with options including 'Pay at counter'. One till remains because they haven't ditched cardless customers yet.
It took me a while to realise that you have to pay at the counter before they start making your order. It also took the lady who makes the drinks a few minutes to spot that I was hanging around hoping to pay with coins. Once I'd got my 1p change I stood back and waited for my order number to reach the top of the board. It's all gone very Argos at McDonald's lately, a crowd of customers standing back waiting until their number's called. What's different is that your orders are now interspersed with bikeboys nudging forward to collect bagged-up treats for customers at home, which may help explain why I ended up waiting for ages.
In the early days all sorts of burger options were waiting cooked and ready on racks so that the server could just walk over and pick them up and bag them for you. These days it feels more like a production line from scratch to avoid undue wastage, or so I thought as I watched the crew working through their individual tasks, over and over, without ever getting to mine. In the end it took them ten minutes and it wasn't even lunchtime yet. Hardly fast food.
I was struck by quite how many bits of paper were used just to deliver me a hamburger. A numbered slip printed by the original touchscreen was swapped at the till for a much longer receipt. This was then scrunched up by the server as they handed me my bagged burger, on which was stuck a sticker they'd been using to coordinate my order, and of course the burger was wrapped in an extra ketchup-stained sheet too. I don't think you get all that if you opt for table service.
The hamburger I unwrapped was quite nostalgic, tasting as if it could have been made in 1974, 1986, 2002 or whatever. The dill pickles and mustard never change. It's neither especially filling nor especially good for you, but at Β£1.19 it's still amongst the cheapest hot foods you can buy on a high street. I guess making you do all the work when ordering (13 touchscreen presses ffs!) helps keep prices down.
Fifty years of McDonald's in the UK has helped transform our takeaway options, or at least kickstarted the breadth of cuisine now available on our high streets. Or at least that's what I thought, but when I walked up and down Powis Street for ten minutes the only other takeaways were Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, German Doner Kebab, Taco Bell and Greggs. There is a Wimpy round the corner but it's not in Powis Street and might have been there even longer than McDonald's.
The current franchisee is Taimoor Sheikh who owns and operates the Woolwich restaurant and eight other McDonald's in south east London. He's risen to the occasion by putting on a very special offer if you turn up this morning to celebrate the store's 50th birthday. Facepainting and 'Instagram Corner' probably aren't your thing, but the first 50 customers after 11am will receive a complimentary medium meal. Maybe they're saving the large option for the centenary.
Get down there sharpish if you're interested. And your arteries will thank you if you miss out.
BOND STREET Colour group: green Purchase price: Β£320 Rent: Β£28 Length: 800m Borough:Westminster Postcode: W1
The penultimate street on the Monopoly board famously doesn't exist, even though it has a station named after it. It's also perhaps London's premier shopping street, the one where all the luxury brands hang out, a linear mecca towards which a certain class of international visitor gravitates. As if to make the point the street has new Christmas lights this year in the shape of giant bottles of Chanel NΒΊ5, rather than those elegant swans everyone used to like, which'll be switched on this Thursday in the spirit of ostentatious consumption. I nipped down early while all the shops were shut, when it's a different beast altogether, and walked first New Bond Street and then Old Bond Street.
Bond Street (yes it was originally called that) has its origins in the 1720s. At the time the north side of Piccadilly was lined by grand mansions, the most magnificent of which was said to be Clarendon House until its owner fell from grace with bad debts and the new owner sold it for development. In its place came Dover Street, Albemarle Street and Bond Street, the latter named after Sir Thomas Bond who led the consortium. At the time these streets backed onto open fields which plainly didn't last, and before long the 'new' end of Bond Street stretched north as far as Oxford Street as a prime axis of smart development. It's only been upmarket since.
Both Bond Streets are one-way and I'll be walking in the same direction as the traffic. I'll also be 'brand-dropping' as I go, kicking off with Abercrombie & Fitch and Zara who have the corner shops at the Oxford Street end. Price tags will elevate somewhat as we progress. The first old-looking frontage belongs to Leonard Jay, Gentlemen's Outfitters, who've been holding a closing down sale since January due to their lease ending which is great news if you want a cut price tweed jacket or green gilet. Mannequins elsewhere tend to be dressed in more fashionable clobber in muted shades, indeed there'll be hundreds more of these before we're finished.
Mephisto are the first bunch of cobblers down the street, supposedly offering the World's Finest Footwear including Β£265 trainers and Β£345 boots. Shapero Rare Books have special treasures in their window including a leatherbound set of the complete works of HG Wells signed by the author. I thought the plaque outside number 97 might be because the East India Company was founded here, but no it's a company of the same name founded by a Mumbai entrepreneur to flog expensive tea and gold coins to beguiled global tourists. The frontage of Bonham's is ridiculously narrow but leads to a sprawling auction house beyond, these the former premises of Phillips Son & Neale with whom they merged in 2001. Stand outside and you are in fact directly above the platforms of the Β£680m Crossrail station which ducks beneath Bond Street but only surfaces to either side.
Ten years ago textile artist Lucy Sparrow filled a corner shop in Bethnal Green with hand-sewn tins of beans, packs of cereal and chocolate bars with everything available for purchase, and it was so brilliant I invested in a Double Decker. This autumn she's upped her game somewhat by opening a Festive Felt Delicatessen at Maison Diptyque on Bond Street, a collection which still took her a year to sew but this time the goods are bottles of champagne, bottles of scent and Christmas treats including tins of cinnamon biscuits and jars of cranberry sauce. No wonder she's grinning in the promotional photos.
The street abruptly deadens on crossing Brook Street. One of the corner units promises it'll reopen soon for 'luxury piercing' and the former Victoria's Secret is sealed awaiting transformation into Mayfair Quarter. But the glaring eyesore is the skeleton of the former Fenwick department store which closed in February after 130 years trading. Its facade will remain while the interior is hollowed out and the floorplates realigned to create an office block with four smaller retail units underneath. Emporio Armani looks very out of place nextdoor, bookended by unfilled and unlet, an isolated aspirational nucleus before the big brands kick off in earnest. And boy do they.
Breitling. Versace. Loewe. Fendi. Gucci. Jimmy Choo... plus all sorts of names that go over the head of the average woman in the street. The interior of Maison AlaΓ―a is a masterclass in how to fill a space with hardly any dresses, hardly any handbags and a table of illuminated bracelets. Balenciaga displays even less in even more. Amongst all this the entrance to Sotheby's almost doesn't stand out, but do stop to look because above the door is Londonβs oldest outdoor statue, a black granite bust of the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet dating from approximately the reign of Tutankhamun. If you fancy Eggs Benedict in their restaurant, bids start at Β£13.95.
Burberry. Hermès. Louis Vuitton. Chanel. Dior... we've definitely gone up a step. There are also signs of a Christmas decoration faceoff underway, with Louis's carousel steeds having the decorative edge over Christian's undersea pastels. The austere block on the corner of Bruton Street is the Time Life Building, an American office block by Michael Rosenauer constructed after the lifting of postwar planning restrictions. Its sculptural treasure is a quartet of doubled-sided abstracts by Henry Moore, who was apparently peeved that nobody allowed them to rotate, and also that the general public hardly ever looked up and noticed them. However the public always notices the two blokes on a bench in the street's brief pedestrianised intermission, a bronze Churchill and a bronze Roosevelt, and often squeezes between them for a selfie.
Hublot. Chopard. Givenchy. Bulgari. Cartier. Graff... which is up another step because we've hit the jewellers. Boutique Cartier is perhaps the visual standout, even without its current festive garnish, defended by footmen during trading hours to sort out the riffraff from the VIPs. Across the street is a massive Ralph Lauren, its window display confirming that it is possible to make tartan look really frumpy. This part of the street has recently been repaved to create a more pedestrian-friendly ambience, complete with red telephone box for perfect photos and an equine Elisabeth Frink shifted here from a lowlier spot on Piccadilly. During the upcoming Christmas switch-on this is also where the champagne car and mulled wine cart will be parking up, because status-wise this is where Bond Street peaks. When the revolution begins, this would be a really satisfying place to start the arson.
It's also where finally, after seven paragraphs, New Bond Street morphs into Old Bond Street. The dividing line is Burlington Gardens, otherwise known as the back of the Royal Academy, because that's how close to Piccadilly we already are. It starts off well with Tiffany & Co, their frontage embellished with Red Lizard Serpentinite pillars and a particularly dapper clock. Things pick up further under the stucco entrance to the Royal Arcade, London's oldest purpose-built shopping arcade which was knocked through to Albermarle Street in 1879. In Queen Victoria's day it housed an umbrella maker, heraldic stationer, confectioner and two florists but these days it's mostly jewellers and statement watches. Stella McCartney and Alexander McQueen, two epic fashion houses, slot in back on the main street and attract selfie-taking tourists even when they're closed.
OK, who haven't we had yet? Prada. Yves St Laurent. Dolce & Gabbana. De Beers. They have to be here because it's where the jetset expects them to be, which'll be why I passed several groups dressed in obligatory designer shades of fawn, grey and beige wandering up and down excitedly window-shopping. There's also quite a bit of retail musical chairs going on, for example Gucci used to be here in OBS before they moved to NBS, and their former store is currently being fitted out for Rolex somewhere behind a long gold hoarding which'll allow Watches of Switzerland to move into their existing shop. By the end of the street I was feeling quite overwhelmed by the endless exclusivity of it all, and also a bit guilty at being seriously underdressed.
And then in the very last doorway I saw a grubby duvet flopped over the edge of a step and was reminded that Bond Street in fact exemplifies the very tops and bottoms of our society, and you don't get one without the other.
Every London borough hosts a Remembrance event, maybe several.
I picked a borough at random from my jamjar and went to theirs.
The parade lines up outside the museum and awaits the signal. Everyone important's here, all the civic dignitaries apart from those who've been delegated to officiate at the borough's three other memorials. The mayor is bedecked in red robes, a golden chain of office and a tricorn hat, a get-up she wouldn't have dreamed of wearing when she first put herself up for election ten years ago. Accompanying her is the Mayor's chaplain, her official mace bearer and the Representative Deputy Lieutenant, all of whom have been able to wait inside the building until the last minute rather than shivering out on the pavement. The Scouts and the British Legion have brought flags.
On a given signal a steward from Achilleus Security attempts to stop the traffic. The first three cars ignore his hand gesture but a Toyota driver eventually relents and thus enjoys a front row seat. Her sacrifice is the cue for the pipe band to start up, resplendent in their Freedom tartan and fresh from yesterday's warm up outside the library. Their opening drumroll is so evocative that it causes one spectator to bring his heels suddenly to attention, instinctively outing himself as a former member of the military. And with a bagpipe skirl the parade then sets off.
Behind the Caledonians come the British Legion in their green berets, then the civic dignitaries, then the other councillors who've elected to be here. Only a handful of them have gowned up. The bulk of the parade is padded out by the Scouts, particularly the subgroups of Cubs and Beavers, all doing their duty under the supervision of an appropriate number of adults. Five St John Ambulance volunteers follow behind, then a huddle of fully-kitted firemen freshly decanted from an engine down the street. I count 100 participants all told, which is both impressive for a civic event in 2024 and pitiful for a borough with a population equal to that of Hull or Sunderland.
Although multiple police officers are present it's the team from Achilleus Security who oversee the parade's progress, shepherding everyone past the launderette and across the crossroads. Their numbered tabards are colour-coded by superiority, and so many stewards are present that a superfluous dozen are bringing up the rear masquerading as participants. Everyone on the pavement stops to watch the parade as it passes, the majority raising a smartphone to capture an image or a spool of video to share with friends. Even shopkeepers emerge to see what's brought bagpipes to their manor, and the dog at number 554 rests its paws on the garden wall to watch everything with intent. Only ten minutes of traffic will be disadvantaged.
At the big gates the parade troops down to the Town Hall where further dignitaries are waiting on the front steps. The Mayor & Co hide away inside again while everyone else, including assorted spectators, files past the sign saying Marketing Suite This Way towards the war memorial. Someone has thoughtfully covered over the usual hoarding with the image of a field of sunlit poppies. Orders of service are duly handed out - 12 pages, full colour - and the clock on the tower duly ticks round.
A mixed crowd has turned up to bear witness to remembrance. Those with standing in the community take a seat at the front while others of all ages stand reverently behind. A tattooed man has turned up in a black Lest We Forget hoodie liberally emblazoned with poppies on the back. One family are only here because their Beaver took part earlier, and they'll face a losing battle to stop her fidgeting as the service progresses. An elderly gentleman in a brown anorak and tweed cap looks like he may be the only person here who remembers either of the World Wars we're here to remember. The bloke beside me in the skinny jeans has two very discreet lapel badges whose symbols suggest either very right wing or very left wing sympathies - I didn't get close enough to tell. Oh hang on, here comes the Mayor.
The ceremony begins with a few words from the pastor, read into a microphone which either isn't turned on whose speaker hasn't been turned up sufficiently. Thankfully his voice carries but most of those who follow won't be so audible. Barry from the British Legion leads us into what ought to be the Two Minute Silence, but which due to an accident of timing is both three minutes early and one minute too short. Eleven o'clock actually strikes as the Mayor takes to the mike, quietly, her words not in the booklet so quite difficult to follow. The official timekeeper, stood at the back with her eyes on her phone, is starting to look agitated.
Taking his cue from distant nods the pastor tries again and launches us into the proper Two Minute Silence, just as the rest of the country is ending theirs. Local seagulls conveniently cease squawking but the traffic on the main road continues unabated, including one particularly loud double decker bus. Small Beaver is too young to realise why she should be keeping quiet and nearly manages. But remembrance takes place regardless, the borough's fallen and the global death toll all silently reflected upon until the Last Post jolts us all, here as everywhere... just a couple of minutes late.
The laying of wreaths is done in strict order starting with the Mayor and Deputy Lieutenant, then the elected, then the religious and finally everyone else. The local MP has a relatively lowly place in the civic pecking order. The Fire Brigade and British Legion have smart logos in the centre of their wreaths, as do the Labour and Conservative offerings, whereas the Veterans and Humanists have made do with a handwritten card. The final wreathlayer to step up is tabard wearer M324 on behalf of Achilleus Security, a private company ostensibly only here to keep us all safe but instead fully entwined into proceedings.
There's still plenty more ceremony to go, specifically pages 5 to 11 in the booklet. It's mainly poems, all the usual stuff about Flanders Field along with more modern selections, each read by someone who isn't quite loud enough. I wasn't aware that Mayor's Consort was now a thing but apparently they're sisters. The brass band delivers Jerusalem with aplomb and we collectively fail to drown them out. The National Anthem goes better, but I swear at least one of the dignitaries is mouthing Queen when it should be King. Then off they process for whatever they do in the Town Hall afterwards, and off we go back to our everyday lives secured by Those We Lost.
Similar ceremonies will have played out at memorials in boroughs across London, and will continue to play out this morning as some people choose to be silent again. But it's not about where you remember, only that the message is remembered, year in year out lest we forget.
I've been for a riverside walk from Teddington to Richmond and here are seven Draw-Off snapshots along the way.
Teddington Lock
Above Teddington Lock you wouldn't know anything was amiss, the river is as a-brim as ever. That's because the lock marks the Thames's tidal limit so no closing of lower weirs has any effect, the flow is all fresh water from upstream. A lengthy weir with tumbling bays divides the river longitudinally in two, shepherding boats towards the lock proper (which is closed until next year to allow repairs to the lock walls and gate ram trench). During Draw-Off the difference in water level from one side of the weir to the other is several metres, even when it's not low tide (as it wasn't when I turned up). The crashing water must also be a relentless presence in the ears of those who've bought otherwise luxury apartments on the site of what used to be light entertainment bastion Teddington Studios.
Teddington Lock Island
This artificial island connects the weir to the lock and supports the Teddington Lock Footbridge, the sole Thames crossing for almost five miles. Come on a Saturday morning and it's like a middle class motorway, all joggers, dogwalkers and well-wrapped families, and all completely ignoring the central exit onto the island. From here two brief paths head off to left and right through squirreled woodland, bounded by fresh water on one side and brackish on the other. Keep walking to find metal steps that sometimes lead into tidal water and currently descend onto muddy foreshore where I was chuffed to have the willowy beach entirely to myself, at both ends. Infrequently visited, rarely seen.
Teddington Obelisk
Downstream of Teddington Lock is a knobbly obelisk which in 1909 defined the Thames Conservators' lower limit. These days it marks the boundary of the Port of London's jurisdiction, all 95 miles of salty empire between here and the North Sea, and has had to be surrounded by protective railings because they'd rather not have to refurbish it again. Along this stretch the waterside willows sometimes break to provide access to an expanse of exposed mud and shingle, again allowing those with decent footwear to step down and approach the shrivelled Thames. I scoured the pebbles for treasure but only spotted dozens of empty shells, and perhaps the labrador that bounded down after me had better luck.
Cross Deep
For the next mile the Thames Path hides mostly within a leafy tunnel so the river could be high or low and you wouldn't realise. Only intermittently are there glimpses of the rich waterfront pads on the opposite bank, the mini-palaces on Strawberry Vale bought primarily for their back garden moorings, not the length of the lawn. Some days their cruiser bobs beside the boathouse twice daily but in November it drops out of sight, temporarily unusable, and no ladder has sufficient rungs to reach the water. A large beach has been exposed on the inside of the bend by Eel Pie Island, its striped shingle and mud accessed down a short flight of stone steps, and all watched over by a single bench for those who prefer not to squidge underfoot.
Hammerton's Ferry
The permanently low water level confines every local boat until the Draw-Off ends, and the same goes for the aluminium skiff that operates the delightful Hammerton's Ferry. This operates daily from March to October then hibernates throughout November allowing Andy & family some time off before coming back weekends only during the winter months. At present even the lowest of the steps on the Twickenham side is high and dry above the water, making it plain why they don't bother to operate. A notice on the post thanks patrons for "a wonderful 2024 season" and confirms they'll be back on Sunday 1st December. The coffee cart on the south bank remains open to service non-crossers with hot drinks, yesterday accompanied by a fantastically eclectic table sale offering apple chutney, tennis balls and bunches of kale courtesy of Petersham & Ham Sea Scouts.
Richmond Bridge
The water's so low under Richmond Bridge that the mud below its footings is exposed. Every gangway connected to a private residential mooring slopes down to its lowest extent, now resting on the river bed. Tiny islands are revealed as artificial confections supported on rocks or encircled by a rim of steel. On Richmond Riverside yesterday the pubs were packed with rugby fans grabbing a pint or three before the big game, oblivious to anything unusual. Saturday also saw Richmond's annual Draw-Off Litter Pick, a three hour volunteer-led foreshore clean-up where kind souls fill bags with detritus while water levels permit. Last year's muddy photos clearly showed why the organisers urge participants to wear wellies and waterproofs, but trainers seemed more than adequate this year and after just fifteen minutes the few people who'd turned up were struggling to find much to fill their bags.
Richmond Lock
This is the head of the Draw-Off, the weir where holding back the tide lowers the water upstream. But water levels also remain low downstream of the lock, arguably more obviously so, as headwaters flowing down from the Cotswolds and Surrey Hills fail to reach this far. Unfortunately it's not possible to continue on the Richmond side of the river at present because the towpath unexpectedly collapsed on 19th October due to flood damage along Syon Reach. A paucity of connecting paths has made 2½ miles of riverbank instantly inaccessible, the entire stretch past Kew Gardens, and the prescribeddetour is both annoyingly long and cycle-unfriendly. But by the looks of things at least one heron was loving the peace and quiet, and indeed the shallower water. Until Friday 22nd November at approximately 08:43.
